small changes

What! A! Year!

For the first time since maybe ever, I feel like I’m at a point where I can finally relax. Life has been non-stop for a while now and some of it has been at my own doing because I’m a go-getter, but I’m now able to recognize that I don’t need to be the hero and try to save everyone. Big big task for an enneagram 8. Yes, I realize I’ve mentioned the enneagram in two posts now but hot damn, it’s a life changing thing.

So going into the year I don’t want to have any big goals. I don’t need to revolutionize my life or accomplish anything other than relaxing and having fun.

I have been making small changes though over the past many months that I’d like to continue. I read the book Atomic Habits (highly recommended!) and it was so good at breaking goals down into easily attainable and lasting efforts. Here are some things I’ve been doing for long enough now that I feel like they are habits and I would like to continue with:

-Prepping salads on Sunday for the week. I’ve realized I can buy the ingredients and can prep the greens and veggies, but if I don’t have them all together in a bowl they are much more likely to go to waste! I can even make a salad in a large bowl to then put into a regular bowl throughout the week but the extra step of pulling out the big bowl is a hindrance to eating said salad. So, on Sundays I’ve been individually prepping my salads and this has led to me eating the salads 100% of the time. I make 2-3 big salads for my workdays, eating leftovers the other two days for lunch, and will typically eat a salad Sunday night as well. My current go-to is a 5 cup Ello container with greens, red onion, bell pepper, tomato, cucumber, shredded carrot and 1.5 cups air fried garbanzo beans. I make a batch of cashew ranch (takes about a minute with the Vitamix) that lasts the week, though occasionally branch out and do a mix of balsamic vinegar, Dijon mustard and some seasonings.

-Showering on a routine. Due to my ~*sensory issues*~ the act of getting into the shower is terrible for me. The sensation of getting wet is physically painful, even if it only lasts seconds. As a child this meant I fought showers hard. But once I’m in the shower I’m good and love it. Which meant as a child I took reallllly long showers after yelling for an hour refusing the shower. Parenting me must have been rough. I still hate getting into the shower as an adult but love being in it and know I obviously need to shower so I just do it. To help remove some of the anxiety around showering I’ve “scheduled” it in my mind – every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday. It helps me mentally prepare for it and not just put off showering to another day to avoid it. I obviously will take more if I need to like during the sweaty summer or after hiking, but for now in the winter this schedule works.

-Changing my sheets every Sunday. I used to be terrible about changing them with any consistency, but since we moved into our new house I’ve been very good about this. It feels so good to get into clean sheets!

-Getting into bed by 9/9:30. I don’t actually go to sleep at that time but will usually read.

-Waking up with a sunrise alarm clock! Wildly helpful on these dark mornings. I am not a morning person at all and have happily woken up 10 minutes before I need to leave for work for many years. Vince hates it, and my kids are sad not to hang out before I go, so I’ve been making an effort to get up earlier. My kids are apparently not incentive enough so I paired it with something I do really like – meditation. I wake up with the alarm, turn on my bedside lamp, get dressed, then get back into bed but sitting up and do the Daily Calm on the Calm meditation app. Obviously not an ad, but I’ve used the Calm app for 5 years now (I paid for the lifetime app within a couple months of trying it, I love it so much!) and love the Daily Calm 10 minute meditation. It has been so great starting my day with that, sometimes with a kid snuggling me and listening too. 

-Walking on my lunch break. I work right by the river with a walking path and a beautiful nature area and it’s so good to get out of the office. Even in the cold! I’ve got rain pants, hat, gloves, etc at the office so I’m prepared. 

-Planning for fun! Due to the chaos of all the court and fostercare things that came along with fostering my nephew for the four years we had him, we were unable to plan more than a few days in advance. Every single trip we had planned got cancelled. I’m finally breaking free from the mindset that everything will get “ruined” and am planning ahead. We have a celiac cruise planned for August (!!!), camping trips, solo backpacking trip for me, ski trip for Vince, concerts, etc. The book mentioned above talks about how the anticipation of a fun event is often times more relaxing and beneficial for than body than the even itself. I get a rush of joy literally every day thinking about the Celiac cruise so can confirm this. 

Looking at these I realize they are all basic self-care items that most people should be doing that I’ve neglected due to taking care of everyone else. It feels good to now be in a position (of privilege!) to be able to focus on me. My youngest is four and recently stopped nursing and oldest is eight, so I’m finally out of the true baby/toddler stage which is exciting! 

Are there any small changes you’ve made that have had a big impact on your life?